Pahrump Driving Rules

1. Turn signals provide clues as to your next move on the road , so keep them guessing and never use them.
   
   
2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you no matter how fast you are going. If you do, the space will be filled by somebody else putting you in a more dangerous situation.
   
   
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less your chance is of getting hit.
   
   
4. The car needing the most extensive bodywork automatically has the right of way at 4-Way stops. He might not have as much to lose as you.
   
   
5. Braking should be done as hard and as late as possible to ensure that your anti-lock braking system kicks in and gives you a relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates.
   
   
6. Construction signs are carefully positioned to alert you about road work ahead after you have just passed the last opportunity to make a detour, but just before the traffic begins to back up.
   
   
7. The electronic traffic warning system signs are not there to provide useful information, but just to tell you what time it is and to make Pahrump look progressive.
   
   
8. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. Plus it's a good way to scare the Hell out of people entering the highway. Passing on the shoulder is also encouraged; whether it's paved or not.
   
   
9. Speed limits are arbitrary to make Nye County look as if it conforms with other state policies; these are intended only as suggestions and are actually unenforceable.
   
   
10. Please remember that the best way to get across Hwy 160 during rush hour is to be born there.
    
    
11. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even a person changing a tire. If you're lucky, you may see yourself on the news that evening.
    
    
12. Learn to swerve abruptly. Pahrump is the home of the original high-speed slalom driving course thanks to NDOT, who puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes. Parts of 15 ply truck tires are left on highways where potholes have not been established yet.
    
    
13. Just because you're in the left lane on Hwy 160 and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
    
    
14. It is considered correct in Pahrump to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant one of our two stoplights change to green. Our town is founded upon such traditions.
    
    
15. Establishing eye contact with another driver automatically revokes your right of way.
    
    
16. Giving the finger or other hand gestures may invite armed retaliation. Be sure that your rifle or shotgun is on the gun rack in the rear window and clearly visible rather than lying on the seat or in the trunk.
    
    
17. You don't have to wait for a cross street to make a turn off the road, just follow the ruts in the desert like everyone else. This is how Pahrump residents notify the county Highway Department where roads should be built.
    
    
18. Another Pahrump Tradition is driving through pudddles and washes on the roads as fast as humanly possible. This provides the driver with the illusion he's piloting Miss Budweiser while the raging water cleans mud, other debris and perhaps the cars's muffler from the undercarriage. As an added bonus drivers approaching from the other direction get a free car wash!
    
    

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